Barak Obama's Suntan, Anyone?

I worry endlessly about the children growing up here, and I know I am not alone. My neurotic French friend is as bad if not worse than me - although, you know, she is neurotic, so perhaps I shouldn't set much store by her as an ally. It is always good to know that your worries are shared, though...

Last week, President Berlusconi complimented Michelle Obama on her suntan. This is after general approbation following his remark about Barak's suntan last year when Obama became the first black US president. Words absolutely FAIL me. The sad truth of the matter, however, is that I have no doubt that if you questioned most Italians, while they may realise that people outside Italy could take issue with this and that it probably isn't the done thing - crucially, they won't actually understand why it is a bad thing.

This brings me to the reason for my post today. My OH and I had a 'discussion' this week. Every morning our two boys - almost 3 and just 4 yrs old - come into our bed and we have a chat and cuddle and a play that sets us all up for the day. This morning, the smaller one started singing a little song he'd learnt at the Montessori nursery they both attend for mornings till 2pm. It involved some very woolly words and hand motions which the older one got frustrated with and took over. Now, the song, it turns out, was about a 'little china girl' on a porcelain jug - and involved (in the immortal words of our own dear Prince Philip) making their eyes 'go all slitty-eyed'. I was horrified - yet I got a blasting from OH about it being totally harmless, I was going over the top about nothing and what was wrong with it anyway?? As an aside - there happens to be a three year old Chinese girl in the class who was adopted by Italian parents. Alone, the fact that the teachers think nothing of teaching small children this kind of careless disrespect for other nationalities based on how they look is bad enough. Added to the fact that this little sweetie has to sit there while the rest of the class make fun of her difference - well, I just find it rather disturbing.

I would love to say that this is the first time I have seen this kind of thing, however I well remember the first time I was at a little one's birthday party and, after having sung happy birthday in Italian ('tanti auguri') and then in English (''aappy burffday-e'), they were then led in a chorus of happy birthday in Chinese - eyes pulled wide and 'tanti auguLi' sung at the the tops of their voices.

Italians as a whole do come across as racist and it has been said before that this is mostly due to the fact that, unlike the Brits for example, there has been no empire, no foreign colonies bringing in an interesting and varied mix of people from all over the world, so they are just not used to having to co-exist with other nationalities. This engenders confusion and a perhaps understandable fear of the unknown. The teachers at my sons' school are not racist per se, I believe, they just don't have the slightest awareness of the offence that this innocent-enough seeming little song might cause. I haven't done or said anything - yet. As the opportunity arises, I will say something though because I don't think the fact that no-one means any harm is really a good enough defence. I am always mindful of the fact that just not saying anything is not good enough. I remember very well a programme about how easy it is to creat the conditions for a total rejection of one ethnic group from a society and it starts with people like you and me just not saying something when an opinion is expressed that encourages intolerance.

I am proud of the fact that my parents have brought me up to be open-minded and to try to never judge just by race alone and also I believe that coming from the UK where there is such a mix of races and cultures is to our huge benefit. I hope that my boys grow to understand this too and do not go down the route of casual racism because the people they are surrounded by don't know any better.